The LOVER

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The Lover is the most popular embodiment of Femininity. She can be found in goddesses such as Venus, Ishtar, Oshun, and Aphrodite. She is creation itself. She makes the creation of life and art possible. She brings the non-physical to physical.

The Lover represents the supernatural power every woman has in her womb - to bring life to this planet. Whether they choose to or struggle to do so or not - this power lies within every woman. The Lover has an alchemical power to heal the planet. Her lovemaking heals her lover. Her passion and joy heal all that come in proximity to her.

She is magnetic and transforms spaces by her simple presence. She is a part of the feminine, the key part, that has been shamed and suppressed by Western society. Inside of this shaming by society, women have unconsciously and even consciously learned to hide, diminish, and at the worst hate that part of themselves.

However, this shaming is exactly what leads to low self-esteem, burnout, lack of self-worth, depression, jealousy in other women and pretty much all of the mental and emotional challenges that women deal with on a daily basis and hide from the world.

It is this energy - The Lover - that fuels and naturally magnetizes a woman. To deny her is an intrinsic denial of self. Furthermore, not honoring her strips women of the practices that fuel their passion, creativity, natural sense of pleasure, and most importantly their sense of self-worth.

Honoring the lover within you teaches you self-care, how to process (not manage) your emotions, and use them as a source of power. The ability to feel with such vastness and depth is the power of the Lover. On the dark side, this depth can go really low and feel like a deep abyss.

This can feel like a scary place to go. Many women do one of two things:

  1. Do not allow themselves to go there or go there and struggle internally with the mental, physical, and emotional impact of suppressing oneself. It is one of the reasons why women, especially in corporate America, are so comfortable with siloing their emotions and part of their personality when they are at work. This naturally bleeds into their personal lives which has a resonating impact of lack of self-worth, disconnection, and so much more. This can be found in a woman that unintentionally behave in a masculine manner.

  2. Go there but don’t know how to come back. In this case victimhood, hyper-emotionality, and self-wallowing tendencies are indicators. This is a very tender place - an it can often look like extreme self-absorption, narcissism, vanity, and at its worst depression and other mental illnesses. It is the hyper-feminine at play. Just as there is the hypermasculine or the toxic masculine there is also the toxic feminine as its complement.

I’ve definitely experienced both. I am sure most women have as we live in an environment that almost rewards us for denying who we are.

With such great risk, considering the latter, why go there?

The upside of honoring The Lover is emotional depth and connection made available opens one to a new world of experience. Experiences a woman never thought possible become available with ease in knowing how to process and transform one’s emotions.

Emotions are such a powerful gift for anyone and The Lover’s ability to connect with this is the source of life itself. It can be overwhelming and feel scattered without the ability to harness and channel this energy effectively. We are also often taught to ignore our feelings (mind over matter, choose your vibration) - for feelings are fleeting we’re told.

I’ll go deeper into emotions vs feelings in a later article - they are not one in the same - though work together.

Either way, it is inherently why the feminine can feel like such a scary space to play in. She can go really dark. However, the magnitude of how dark she can go is just how passionate, magnetic, and powerful she can be.

The greatest trickery of all is we’re taught to process our emotions through talking, rehashing old stuff, and ‘figuring it out’. While this may have some value at an intellectual level and maybe even to create awareness, emotions cannot be processed through the mind.

It must be done through the body. To cultivate the practice of fully feeling your deepest emotions and transforming them into your greatest blessings - learn to connect with your body.  

The Lover is our sensuality, body, movement - with or without a partner. Tap in.

PS I’ll admit this is an intro article and may leave you with some questions. More to come...

The Future is Feminine

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The future is feminine and that means everybody. The world in so many ways whether it be in relationships, the environment, business, and family dynamics is starving for the feminine.

She has been raped, pillaged, and most of all denied. Denied her right to exist. Denied of her right to be seen, heard, or expressed.

So what did she do? She retreated. We can see it in the dried up rivers, the state of the honeybee, the trafficking of children as sex slaves, the raping of our women and men.

The void of the feminine creates hyper-masculinity — in everyone. The balance is thrown way off and everyone loses. I will say that again — everyone loses.

The future is feminine is not about displacing men — it’s about healing the masculine in all of us. Returning him to his harmony with his feminine besides him. And bringing her back, with her masculine counterpart beside her. Supporting her, protecting, her, giving her the space to flourish.

As an organizational consultant, I’ve seen the insides of over a dozen Fortune 100 companies. I’ve seen leaders and teams struggle to find flow. I’ve seen them struggle to create harmony amongst teams, departments, within their own lives.

The solution is simple and in many cases obvious. What the solution is not necessarily — is easy. It can be made so and once accepted is a profoundly easier way of being.

Yet decades, even centuries of masculine overdrive has us all trained. It’s almost a go to a natural way of being — especially for those in the corporate world.

The feminine is shunned and frowned upon in Corporate America. She is seen as weak, a flaw to overcome, a reality to deny.

Then systems fail, people burn out, environments are ruined, communities are destroyed. The masculine tries harder. Oh, he means well, in the deepest of his hearts I trust he does. But he’s lost without his feminine. His guiding light, his way shower. He knows.

He tries harder, largely to call her back. He knows he’s floundering — he searches for her, he beckons her. However, no matter what he does he can never be her.

Thus, we have the masculine in overdrive all in efforts to call back the feminine he once scared away. It’s understandable — the feminine is unknown and scary to delve into. It can be dark, it’s magical, fluid, and cannot be controlled.

We’re taught that which cannot be controlled, cannot be trusted. We’re taught control is the way to be secure. Yet we know we need flexibility.

The entire agile movement, arguably, is the masculine seeking to systematize the feminine. Create operations that create the room that allows for flow, adaptability, fluidity — the feminine.

Yet systematizing the feminine has its limits. The feminine cannot be designed. She is the creator, she brings life, and every effort to duplicate will eventually fail.

The only way to connect with her is to surrender to her. The calling, the desire, the creativity, and the process deep within.

She has never really left, she’s just been denied — on a planetary, national, communal, familial, and individual level. On all levels, she has been denied — individually being the most core.

Individuals make up the larger.

The solution? Return to your feminine and allow her to flourish within you.

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Step one? Get still and listen. She’s crying to be heard. Simply listen.

Why? Your struggle for diversity, to save the planet, for a happy work environment, health, simple peace of mind — they all lie within her.

Give it a try. You’ll be happy you did.