The Lover is the most popular embodiment of Femininity. She can be found in goddesses such as Venus, Ishtar, Oshun, and Aphrodite. She is creation itself. She makes the creation of life and art possible. She brings the non-physical to physical.
The Lover represents the supernatural power every woman has in her womb - to bring life to this planet. Whether they choose to or struggle to do so or not - this power lies within every woman. The Lover has an alchemical power to heal the planet. Her lovemaking heals her lover. Her passion and joy heal all that come in proximity to her.
She is magnetic and transforms spaces by her simple presence. She is a part of the feminine, the key part, that has been shamed and suppressed by Western society. Inside of this shaming by society, women have unconsciously and even consciously learned to hide, diminish, and at the worst hate that part of themselves.
However, this shaming is exactly what leads to low self-esteem, burnout, lack of self-worth, depression, jealousy in other women and pretty much all of the mental and emotional challenges that women deal with on a daily basis and hide from the world.
It is this energy - The Lover - that fuels and naturally magnetizes a woman. To deny her is an intrinsic denial of self. Furthermore, not honoring her strips women of the practices that fuel their passion, creativity, natural sense of pleasure, and most importantly their sense of self-worth.
Honoring the lover within you teaches you self-care, how to process (not manage) your emotions, and use them as a source of power. The ability to feel with such vastness and depth is the power of the Lover. On the dark side, this depth can go really low and feel like a deep abyss.
This can feel like a scary place to go. Many women do one of two things:
Do not allow themselves to go there or go there and struggle internally with the mental, physical, and emotional impact of suppressing oneself. It is one of the reasons why women, especially in corporate America, are so comfortable with siloing their emotions and part of their personality when they are at work. This naturally bleeds into their personal lives which has a resonating impact of lack of self-worth, disconnection, and so much more. This can be found in a woman that unintentionally behave in a masculine manner.
Go there but don’t know how to come back. In this case victimhood, hyper-emotionality, and self-wallowing tendencies are indicators. This is a very tender place - an it can often look like extreme self-absorption, narcissism, vanity, and at its worst depression and other mental illnesses. It is the hyper-feminine at play. Just as there is the hypermasculine or the toxic masculine there is also the toxic feminine as its complement.
I’ve definitely experienced both. I am sure most women have as we live in an environment that almost rewards us for denying who we are.
With such great risk, considering the latter, why go there?
The upside of honoring The Lover is emotional depth and connection made available opens one to a new world of experience. Experiences a woman never thought possible become available with ease in knowing how to process and transform one’s emotions.
Emotions are such a powerful gift for anyone and The Lover’s ability to connect with this is the source of life itself. It can be overwhelming and feel scattered without the ability to harness and channel this energy effectively. We are also often taught to ignore our feelings (mind over matter, choose your vibration) - for feelings are fleeting we’re told.
I’ll go deeper into emotions vs feelings in a later article - they are not one in the same - though work together.
Either way, it is inherently why the feminine can feel like such a scary space to play in. She can go really dark. However, the magnitude of how dark she can go is just how passionate, magnetic, and powerful she can be.
The greatest trickery of all is we’re taught to process our emotions through talking, rehashing old stuff, and ‘figuring it out’. While this may have some value at an intellectual level and maybe even to create awareness, emotions cannot be processed through the mind.
It must be done through the body. To cultivate the practice of fully feeling your deepest emotions and transforming them into your greatest blessings - learn to connect with your body.
The Lover is our sensuality, body, movement - with or without a partner. Tap in.
PS I’ll admit this is an intro article and may leave you with some questions. More to come...