Boundaries, haters, and perfoming the holidays
Solstice vibes
It’s always striking to me that the first day of Winter is in late December; growing up in NY, it always felt like we’d been in Winter for at least a month.
Also this same day, the Winter Solstice, is the longest night of the year, symbolizing the return to light as the days slowly grow in length. (Doesn’t it feel like the darkness is just getting started?)
Nonetheless, this return to light doesn’t come first without the journey back through the dark.
Darkness is often associated with the unknown, uncertainty, and fear.
There is something beautiful about being with what lay beneath the surface. It can be a gateway to deeper levels of connection within and with others.
As we enter the winter holiday season – a time for reflection, family, celebration, grief – core things that make us intrinsically human…
I was going to write about the emerging future (we’ll save that for next week) and decided to share some grounding principles to anchor our journey within, to self and being with the ones we love.
These simple ideas can feel fleeting as we get caught up in the chaos of work, life, and trying to manage it all.
Yet returning to them can be a great reminder as we connect with emotions that we may not have allowed ourselves to feel in a long time.
You are enough. You always have been and you always will be. You may have certain goals and milestones that you want to achieve and that is great. Reaching them won’t make you enough and having not yet reached them doesn’t make you not enough. Both sides of this coin is a dangerous one to live in.
Comparison is the thief of joy. As we enter a reflective and introspective phase it can be tempting to compare…sometimes coming out ahead and sometimes coming out behind. There will always be someone that seems to be on either side - but if you’re looking over you’re not focused on your lane.
Reflect on your journey and what fulfills you. Living someone else’s life is likely not the path to your fulfillment.
Boundaries are gifts to a relationship. Sometimes what feels like an impossible scenario - is a boundary seeking to be set.
I have noticed that often times when a relationship is incredibly frustrating and challenging to deal with it is because a boundary is calling to be set and it can feel easier to avoid or complain about the person than to have the difficult conversation.This week try having the difficult conversation with intention and love.
Haters are fans in the shadow. They are triggered by something you spark in them that they’re not yet ready to be with. Keep shining and owning your power - it is a gift to the world. Your job is to not take the hate personally, to trust your inner guidance, and to continue charting your path.
And last but not least,
You do not have to perform the holidays. It sometimes can feel like the holidays have to look a certain way for them to be happy or instagrammable. If this is your jam, then go for it. If not, find what it looks and feels like for you and lean into that.
++Life loves you (even when it doesn’t feel like it).
Have a happy holiday week!
With Love,
Tiffany