Hello and welcome to another episode of Healing the Feminine. A question I often get is how to know your truth, especially as you evolve and grow.
In this week’s episode, we’re going to look at what it’s like to know and walk in our truth.
Often times when we are in the midst of transformation it can be challenging to discern what is true – or really what truth we want to align with.
As old thought and behavior patterns fade away and new ones take form there can be this transitional phase where you are learning to walk in your new reality and cultivate trust in what may seem like a new world (your new paradigm or mindset).
If this resonates you may very much relate to what it is like to go through a deep transformation.
If there is some resonance and you’re even a bit intrigued yet don’t completely relate then you may want to look at areas of your life where you may have wanted to create change and even started to but nothing seemed to stick.
straddling truths as we grow
When we are creating deep change in our lives, especially rooted in inner healing and growth – situations and experiences can occur that trigger old responses and have us question – “what is real?”
An old way of being, that even though we’re ready to release, may feel comfortable – after all, you at least know how that story plays out.
Or on the other side of the straddle – new ideas or ways of being and responding may enter your sphere – yet they feel scary, unknown.
Can they be trusted? How do you even respond from a new paradigm you’re still learning to navigate.
When are operating from a calm and clear state of mind, it may already be to discern these nuances.
Add on a heightened sense of alarm and fear, the challenge can feel insurmountable.
learning to uncover and honor your truth is a process
Transformation is a process, some may experience instantaneous shifts, I won’t say that doesn’t exist.
However, in general, creating new thought and behavior patterns is a continual process of choosing to shift in the desired direction.
What does this have to do with walking in your truth, you may be wondering?
Everything – if it is something you are not used to doing:
- If sacrificing your own needs and wants is a pattern
- Or collapsing your needs and wants with that of others, and not even being able to tell the difference
- Or for those that suffer from other esteem, if looking outside of you for what the right need or want is, versus trusting yourself
Then the process of learning to turn within to discern what is true for you – is how you begin to reclaim your truth and own it.
Understanding Your Wants and Needs
Your ability to know and understand your needs and wants may change, and as they do so will your standards.
You may awaken to areas in your life that you thought you were ok with and now realize just don’t work.
This is especially true when healing codependence, unhealthy ways of relating to yourself and others or leaving an abusive situation (personally or professionally) where gaslighting and manipulation may have been at play.
If this is true for you, I acknowledge you for your perseverance, commitment to loving and caring for yourself. You are on the right track and everything is going to be ok.
Cultivating trust and discernment begins with learning to trust what feels good for you.
However, it can be scary to trust what feels good if what has seemingly felt good in the past based on pain and trauma has caused pain.
Let’s be honest, most if not all forms of addiction, are rooted in what feels good for the moment and from a place of suppressing or escaping pain.
This is where slowing down and listening to your body helps us get clearer on what is true, underneath the pain, escapism, and defense mechanisms.
Learning to Listen to Your Body and discern your truth
Here at Healing the Feminine, I have an acronym for HEAL which is higher energetic alignment (in) love.
I believe that all healing is returning to our natural alignment in love and wholeness.
As we learn to listen to our heart and body it will tell us our true needs and wants – underneath any pain, we may be holding on to or even immediate need to soothe.
It does require slowing down enough to listen and put in place healthy coping mechanisms as we slow the reaction to self-regulate and reconnect.
Today I am going to share two practices you can integrate into your emotional self-care routine to uncover what is true for you.
The first I call the Heart Speaks – it is a method I learned early in my healing journey when I was learning to meditate and listen to my body.
In the beginning, you may be surprised at what you feel, sense, or hear. Stay with it and allow the truth to be revealed.
tap into the intuitive guidance of the heart
To begin the Heart Speaks, find a quiet place to sit and just be, ideally somewhere you won’t be disturbed and is quiet.
Take a moment and connect to your breath – take a deep breath in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, and release for 4 counts.
Repeat this two more times, inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4 counts, and releasing for 4 counts.
Last time, inhale for 4, hold for 4, and exhale for 4.
Allow your breath to return to normal and just watch it move through your body.
Connect With Your Heart
Bring your attention to your heart space, in the center of your chest, just off to the left.
Place your hands over your heart and breathe into this space.
Feel the sensation of breath moving in, around, and out of your heart area. You may even feel your heartbeat.
Connect with your heart and ask for guidance around whatever you are seeking to discern.
As you feel into the question or situation – notice if your heart feels light and open as you feel into it or if it begins to constrict, maybe it stays neutral.
Whatever the sensation be with it, release any judgment, and allow any, messages or clarity to arise.
You may see images, feel subtle sensations, or maybe in the beginning there is nothing – just know the simple act of getting still and connecting to your heart does wonders.
When you are done take the time to write whatever comes up for you.
anchor the wisdom
You may receive clear guidance and clarity may be continuing to unfold. Set the intention for things to become clear and trust it will.
This is a great practice to do daily as you learn to feel into the sensations of your heart.
It is a practice I began doing, over 15 years ago and still return to.
Release the urge to overthink it and stay curious.
Another practice that will help support this inner discernment is daily journaling. You may want to do this simple journaling technique for 7 days straight as you are working through creating discernment, or integrate it into your daily practice if you like.
Start journaling, with a complete brain and heart dump. Just let it all out – think of this as allowing any lingering emotions or thoughts to have their moment to be expressed – allowing you to get to a place of nothingness.
From nothingness, your inner truth has the space to emerge without the noise.
Once you get to nothingness, write two lists.
One of all that you are grateful for and another of your truest desires around the matter.
Let it flow.
You may receive genuine guidance and next steps as part of this process. The real beauty and intention in this process in the early days is to just practice being with your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
In this, you are cultivating a practice of listening to your thoughts and emotions, observing them, and letting them go, as they move through you vs identifying with them.
The more you do this, the more layers you will unpack and the more of your inner world will reveal itself to you.
Unpacking the Lies
A few words of insight as we journey within.
Getting curious about your inner world can be confronting at times – you may awaken to stories, spells, or illusions (they’re all one and the same) – you may be under.
Awakening to these truths can be painful.
It’s okay to grieve – honor the feelings and the emotions. Give yourself grace and compassion and get support when and where necessary.
As you unpack lies, stories, and illusions you may have been holding on to – you will allow more of yourself to shine through.
Everything you need is already within.
Your awareness and understanding of your needs and wants will deepen as you give yourself permission to listen to and honor yourself in new ways.
Your standards will naturally shift as well.
set Boundaries to uphold your truth
As you get clear in your inner world around your truth – boundaries inner and outer is how you begin to communicate and walk in your truth as you move in this world.
I will go into more details about boundaries in next week’s episode. Also re-visit the Valentines’ Day episode for a discussion around how boundaries show up in understanding your needs and wants.
Unravels the Layers in your truth
Lastly, there are layers to the healing game.
Allow yourself to unravel the layers as you deepen your connection to your truth and expand your perception of who and what you get to be, do, and have.
There will be different perceptions of reality as you expand your awareness.
Release the temptation to judge what used to be true for you and no longer is.
It was a stepping stone on your path.
Today I will leave with a quote from a woman that embodied her truth with radical fervor as she stood for those that didn’t yet have the courage to speak theirs.
“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
― Audre Lorde
Align energetically with your deepest truth and desires, embody that with love, faith, and conviction, as you own your power on this planet.